A Place of Pondering

Wed. October 20, 2010

Journal Entry: Today I went into the MTC. For the most part, the beginning was rote and boring. I met my companion for the duration of our stay, Elder Killian and I’m sure we will become good friends. After dinner, we went in to “teach” people. We sat in large groups of 30 to 40 people with someone there to be taught. Each person seemed to speak from experiences in their past to get us to come to know them. They spoke like they were a new investigator or any situation that we could think of. I felt the Spirit in each case and I believe I have been shown the Spirit will help me to Love the People. I came to know and love each investigator and I slowly realized that I could see the potential of their futures if they but turn to Christ and His Restored Gospel. I felt the Spirit telling me what I could say, but I hesitated because I wasn’t sure if we were just asking them questions or if we could answer questions they seemed to be asking. I WILL NOT HESITATE AGAIN! When I feel the Spirit and the words, I will speak them.

Memories: I remember that day very well. I had packed everything well over the last two days, and even consecrated oil with Dad for the first time. That morning I got up and got dressed in my suit and double checked that everything was packed. I remember sitting on the chair in the living room as Mom went searching for something. Dad gave me a nice watch that winds itself by my wrist movements. Mom gave me a letter she had written when I was very young, that she wanted me to read when I was 18 but then had decided to wait until now to give it to me. Grandma and Grandpa stopped by to say their last goodbyes too.  The drive down was filled with the silence of anticipation, although Ryan would occasionally crack a joke. I read scriptures for a little bit in the car. We decided to go to a sandwich place for lunch in Provo. I remember Melinda called while we were there and we talked for a little bit on the phone. She was crying and sad that she couldn’t come and visit while I was gone or anything. I assured her the time would fly by and that she could e-mail and write letters. After lunch, we went to the grounds of the Provo Temple and took pictures all over the grounds. Then it was finally time to report to the MTC across the street. We drove in and said our goodbyes. Mom had kept herself together by giving lots of hugs and being pretty quite, but now she was crying. A blonde haired Elder that had been at the MTC for a few weeks came to help take my luggage. I remember having my favorite pillow on top of my luggage and tied to it as we strolled across the MTC campus to the building I would be staying in. I think it was 14. Then we went back to the main building where I was taken through to get my name tag, planner, a new Preach My Gospel and to get all checked in. I remember the lady wanted to throw away my old PMG but I told her I would be keeping it. It had all my notes from the last year of study, I wasn’t just going to toss it. From here, I was led to the classroom I would be in for the rest of my stay. This was on the East side, building 8. The room was on the third floor, and right by the door was another Elder who had just arrived. His name was Elder Killian and I saw my papers that he was my Companion. We talked briefly, but silence came back as we waited. Slowly other Elders came in and introduced themselves. I think our MTC teachers came in shortly after that and introduced themselves. We had a tour of the places on campus we would need to know about, our first LGM or Large Group Meeting, followed by dinner and then the investigator activity I talked about in my journal above.

I got a new alarm clock a day or so before and had never yet used it. Elder Killian and I were the only ones in our MTC room and he didn’t have an alarm so we just used mine. I had the lower bunk by the window and he had the lower bunk by the door. As I went to sleep that night I remember looking up at the bed above me and feeling a sense of panic thinking “What have I gotten myself into?” This was almost immediately replaced with a wonderful feeling of peace and confidence that I know came from Father to comfort and reassure me. I fell asleep quickly after this feeling filled me.
 

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