A Place of Pondering

Sacrament Pondering

Friday night I slept in the floor if a hotel. Despite circumstances I had a very interesting, powerful dream. I’m beginning to realize that there is a reason for many familiar places in my dreams, Grandma and Grandpas, outside on my street.. Though I don’t know what the significance is yet.. Anyway, in this dream I walked down the street two houses down and knocked on the door. There was a blonde girl that went with me because we were going to talk about something bothering her. There was the mystery girl at this house. She had young children that she was responsible for and she looked on the verge of tears. I pulled her by the hand outside so that we could talk. She was feeling overwhelmed with being the mother for her young siblings and felt terribly alone. There was somebody, an old boyfriend perhaps, that was a foreboding presence too. We went and sat outside on the roof of a building and talked. There was randomly a flood of water and I mentioned how that happened once or twice a year. The water was three or four feet and clear. Then we walked back down and talked to Big Ben, he mentioned some things in connection with us preparing for marriage, but I don’t remember specifics. I also remember sitting on a couch that was facing west in a living room with a front door south, and we were holding hands. Well, from this experience coupled with some others, I conclude that she comes from some sort of broken home whether through death, disease, or divorce I’m uncertain. In sacrament today the spirit was strong as they spoke on fathers. Especially Elder Lozada speaking on how his mother left them and his father chose to be there for them. I felt as he spoke that I will be one to pick up the pieces of a family, to be the missing piece to make the whole. Even if she has siblings or her own children, I am willing to be a part of it. Not out of pity, not out of duty, but out of love for each of them. Her especially and as I come to know them, others too. More than anything, I believe this was meant to bring me peace to know I’m continuing in the right path and He will have us meet when the time is right. I must focus on removing my struggles and imperfections, to magnify my callings and enlighten my understanding and we will meet at the appointed hour. I also am beginning to feel that He places me in specific scenes for these dreams so that I remember them often, the feelings and promises, the future that draws near. This will enable strength conquering my battles and confidence in what is to be.

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